I have always been fascinated by the mind/body connection. My fascination has led me to read many books by philosophers, theologians, sages, and doctors of all types. There appears to be one common thing that is shared by all; that our thinking if our most powerful asset, either positive or negative. The process of thought can dictate our health, happiness, success, etc. As a doctor I realized many years ago that my happy patients were my most healthy. I have also discovered that happiness is a choice and true happiness comes from within and cannot be obtained from anything external. I have some stories and quotes that have helped me and many others grasp this concept.
Too many times in life we blame others for our dilemma – “my boss,” “my ex-spouse,” “my kids” – without facing responsibility. One philosopher put it this way and I quote, “It is better for you to take responsibility for life as it is, instead of blaming others or circumstances for your predicament. As your eyes open, you’ll see that your state of health, happiness, and every circumstance of your life has been in large part, arranged by you consciously or subconsciously.” This is a very tough concept to understand, let alone live by. I do know one thing, that if you try to look at life this way, you become free. If my thinking and actions have created my life, then if I change my thinking I can change my life. I am in control because I blame no one. I am essentially free!
I found a story that I think says it all: There was a construction worker who would sit down at work with the other workers, open his lunch pail and start to complain, “Son of a gun!” he’d cry, “Not peanut butter and jelly.”
This went on for weeks until finally one worker was so sick and tired of hearing him complain he shouted, “My God man, if you don’t like peanut butter and jelly, tell your wife to make you something different.”
“What do you mean ‘wife’?” he replied, :I am not married, I make my own sandwiches.”
This humorous tale is quite profound. We all make our own sandwiches, sometimes we just forget. It was difficult then for me to understand bad things that occur in life. It left me confused – if I was generally happy, then what about bad times or tragedies? Why do they occur?
The same philosopher also told this story: An old man and his son worked a small farm with only one horse to pull the plow. The horse ran away.
“How terrible!” cried the neighbors, “What bad luck!”
“Who knows if it is good luck or bad luck,” the farmer replied.
A week later the horse returned from the mountains, leading five wild mares into the barn.
“What wonderful luck!” said the neighbors.
“Good luck? Bad luck? Who knows?” the old man replied.
The next day, the son, trying to tame one of the horses, fell and broke his leg.
“How terrible! What bad luck!”
“Good luck? Bad luck?”
The army came to all the farms to take the young men for war. The farmer’s son was of no use to them, so he was spared.
“Good? Bad?”
Everything has a purpose in life! A purpose. We may not understand it, we may not want it, but lessons in life are a part of the journey. It is also apparent that it is not what happens in these lessons that is as important as how we handle them. Do we grow and become wiser? Or bitter and say ‘why me?’ Happiness is a choice, enjoy your lunch!
Thursday, August 26, 2010
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
Life! This is No Dress Rehearsal by Dr Ronald Sinagra
In 1985 I went out and bought myself an expensive pair of Sergio Valenti pants and a matching shirt with a zipper up front. I thought I looked great. I looked ridiculous. These clothes were my best so I kept them tucked away in my closet so they would not get ruined. Then one day I went through my closet and found this awful outfit still wrapped in the plastic from the dry cleaners. It was my Sergio Valenti pants and shirt! I thought I would save them for a special occasion but when I found them they were useless for they had gone way out of style. That was my first experience in realizing that life is no dress rehearsal.
As silly as my clothing story is, it really has some meaning behind it. In our culture we tend to hold back as if we were coming back. Life is lived once in the context that we understand. Here on this planet there is but one go around. So what the heck are we waiting for? As the pace of life quickens you must find the balance between living today as if you were going to die tomorrow and working and saving as if you were going to live forever. This is a major key in balancing life. I have noticed that many of us tend to view and live our lives as if there will always be a tomorrow. We wait for the special occasions to use the good china or wear the new outfit. Unfortunately someday we wake to find the events we saved our fine things for have passed us by. That special day in all our lives is today.
When you come to the awareness that life is not a dress rehearsal your perspective on how you see and treat others can change. If you were to die and upon reaching heaven you were to ask God to give you just one more day, what would you do differently? How would you love your spouse? How would you love your children and family? How would you see the world? There is an old saying “life is a dream.” Most of us believe that we have a spirit and this body is the temporary home for our soul. Most of us also believe that when we die we go to heaven and this is an eternal spiritual place. So life on the grand scale is a physical dream as compared to our true eternal spirit. Imagine you were dreaming. In this dream you are hoarding your money and possessions and holding back your love from the people in your life that need it most. All of a sudden you wake up. Would you not feel foolish? Would you not ask yourself, “Why did I act this way?” “Why did I hold back and not tell the people that I love that I really do love them?” “I should have lived that dream to its fullest.” I really do believe that our lives are physical dreams. One day we will look back at our lives as we do when we awake from a dream and say “if I only knew, I would have done things so differently.” Awareness of the big picture helps keep life in perspective.
Americans in particular like to strive, a new car, a bigger house, etc. How much is enough? When do we stop striving and start arriving? There is nothing wrong with wanting more or nicer things. There is however a trap that comes with striving. The trap is that we tend to look and focus on what we do not have, and overlook what we do have. As soon as we get one thing our thirst is only satisfied momentarily and then we move to our next desire. Taking time out to enjoy the things in life makes acquiring them worthwhile. It is important not to lose today yearning for “things” tomorrow.
In a few years you probably won’t remember any of the problems that confront you today. In fifty years most people reading this won’t be alive. In a hundred years more than 99% of the population will never know you and I ever existed. This life is a short dream. You can’t sweat the small stuff. Life is not a dress rehearsal, this is not a preseason. It’s game time and the clock is ticking. Take time to give, love, and see the beauty of this life. Today is the only guarantee we have.
As silly as my clothing story is, it really has some meaning behind it. In our culture we tend to hold back as if we were coming back. Life is lived once in the context that we understand. Here on this planet there is but one go around. So what the heck are we waiting for? As the pace of life quickens you must find the balance between living today as if you were going to die tomorrow and working and saving as if you were going to live forever. This is a major key in balancing life. I have noticed that many of us tend to view and live our lives as if there will always be a tomorrow. We wait for the special occasions to use the good china or wear the new outfit. Unfortunately someday we wake to find the events we saved our fine things for have passed us by. That special day in all our lives is today.
When you come to the awareness that life is not a dress rehearsal your perspective on how you see and treat others can change. If you were to die and upon reaching heaven you were to ask God to give you just one more day, what would you do differently? How would you love your spouse? How would you love your children and family? How would you see the world? There is an old saying “life is a dream.” Most of us believe that we have a spirit and this body is the temporary home for our soul. Most of us also believe that when we die we go to heaven and this is an eternal spiritual place. So life on the grand scale is a physical dream as compared to our true eternal spirit. Imagine you were dreaming. In this dream you are hoarding your money and possessions and holding back your love from the people in your life that need it most. All of a sudden you wake up. Would you not feel foolish? Would you not ask yourself, “Why did I act this way?” “Why did I hold back and not tell the people that I love that I really do love them?” “I should have lived that dream to its fullest.” I really do believe that our lives are physical dreams. One day we will look back at our lives as we do when we awake from a dream and say “if I only knew, I would have done things so differently.” Awareness of the big picture helps keep life in perspective.
Americans in particular like to strive, a new car, a bigger house, etc. How much is enough? When do we stop striving and start arriving? There is nothing wrong with wanting more or nicer things. There is however a trap that comes with striving. The trap is that we tend to look and focus on what we do not have, and overlook what we do have. As soon as we get one thing our thirst is only satisfied momentarily and then we move to our next desire. Taking time out to enjoy the things in life makes acquiring them worthwhile. It is important not to lose today yearning for “things” tomorrow.
In a few years you probably won’t remember any of the problems that confront you today. In fifty years most people reading this won’t be alive. In a hundred years more than 99% of the population will never know you and I ever existed. This life is a short dream. You can’t sweat the small stuff. Life is not a dress rehearsal, this is not a preseason. It’s game time and the clock is ticking. Take time to give, love, and see the beauty of this life. Today is the only guarantee we have.
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